Met my guy last weekend, had a good time plucking his long white hair juz with my bare fingers..no tweezers. I couldnt believe either that I had actually walked with him from Bugis Mrt to Mustafa Centre...i guess i am only able to do this when he is around coz he loves to walk.

But not all d time happiness is in store for me...his last visit in July, he said he loved me n told me to forget what was argued on d phone n he wanted to start afresh. The recent trip left me stumped n i cried so hard. I know he must be under so much pressure that he couldnt handle that he set aside his feeling for me...that he told me he couldnt understand what is the meaning of love....so meaningless to him. Why has he changed a lot?? I love him soo much that his words broke my defences down,,he could hardly look straight into my eyes. Where is the man whom I knew at d very beginning..a confident, loving, passionate, jovial one??Why must he burden himself with everything..what makes he thinks that he is suffering so much when there r others who suffer much worst than him?

What have i done to deserve such treatment from men i had been with so far....who took me for fun n dumped me as and when they like. I feel so scared...to try again...to fall in love...to feel love...to even think of marriage coz that is definitely a far fetched dream for me now. Is this what I get for making someone else happy n feel good???Juz too many setbacks for me to take n my heart cant take it anymore.

If you are reading this Sayang, i am always hoping d best for u, remember u in my prayers n having u close to my heart.....i cant hate u with d same heart that loves u. My greatest wish is that i hope u dont give up too easily coz im sure there r solutions.....lets pray to Allah for His guidance n strength to make this relationship works..insyaallah!